REGRETS

Turning Regret into Growth: A Path Forward

"Regret doesn’t remind us that we did badly, it reminds us that we know we can do better."
— Kathryn Schulz

Regret is a weight we all carry at some point. It can sit heavy on the chest, whispering reminders of what we should have done differently. In life, regret often surfaces as a reminder of past mistakes, missed opportunities, broken relationships, or choices that led us down dark paths. It’s easy to get stuck there, replaying moments we wish we could change. But what if we saw regret not as punishment, but as a signpost pointing toward growth?

The Two Sides of Regret

Regret can be paralyzing, trapping us in self-judgment and guilt. If we let it, it becomes a burden we carry indefinitely, shaping our identity around what we "should have" done instead of who we are becoming. But regret also has another side, one that is often overlooked.

Regret exists because we care. It reveals our values, our standards, and our desire to be better. When we look at regret through this lens, it transforms from something that weighs us down into something that can propel us forward.

On this journey, we often face the wreckage of our past. The people we hurt, the time we lost, the moments we wish we could rewrite. It’s natural to feel the sting of regret, but the real question is: What do we do with it?

Dwelling on the past won’t change it, but acknowledging regret with honesty and self-compassion allows us to grow from it. The key is balance, learning from the past without being defined by it.

Moving Forward: A Practice of Self-Compassion

So how do we turn regret into something useful? It starts with a shift in perspective and small, intentional actions.

1. Acknowledge It Without Judgment
   Instead of pushing regret away or drowning in it, simply acknowledge it. Say to yourself, Yes, I feel regret about this. And that’s okay.

2. Look for the Lesson
   Ask yourself: What is this regret teaching me? Maybe it’s a reminder to be more present, to prioritize relationships, or to stay true to your values. Regret highlights where we want to grow.

3. Take One Small Action
   The past can’t be rewritten, but the future is still in your hands. Identify one small step you can take today to align with the person you want to be. A sincere apology, a new habit, a commitment to show up differently, these steps turn regret into momentum.

4. Let It Go
   Once you’ve taken what you need from the regret, release it. Carrying it around forever won’t serve you. Imagine setting it down, like a heavy bag you no longer need to lug through life.

Action for the Week

Take a moment to reflect on one regret that has been lingering in your mind. Ask yourself: What can I learn from this? Then, focus on one concrete step you can take this week to move forward with intention, leaving the regret in the past where it belongs.

Regret isn’t meant to be a life sentence, it’s a sign that we are growing. And growth is what leads us forward, one step at a time.