PEACE

Finding Peace in the Company You Keep

For a long time, I believed I was an introvert. I preferred being alone, and the solitude felt like a safe space. Less drama, no BS, and no conflict, it seemed like the perfect setup. Whenever I was around people, there always seemed to be some sort of tension, misunderstanding, or unnecessary noise that disrupted the calm I craved. So, I embraced the idea that I was just someone who needed time alone to recharge and feel whole.

But over time, something changed. As I worked on understanding myself better, I realized it wasn’t solitude I was seeking, it was peace. And the two aren’t necessarily the same. The world is chaotic enough, and we all develop ways to shield ourselves from it. For me, that shield was distance, the belief that staying away from others would give me the quiet I wanted.

However, life has a funny way of peeling back layers. Through trial, error, and growth, I came to a surprising realization: I’m not an introvert at all. I’m actually extroverted, around the right people. When I’m in the company of those who bring calmness, authenticity, and understanding, I feel energized. I light up. I can talk for hours, laugh, share ideas, and feel completely comfortable. It’s as if the weight of protecting my peace disappears because there’s nothing to protect it from.

It’s not about being around just anyone. That’s where the distinction lies. I’m selective, and I’ve learned to be okay with that. Not everyone is meant to be in your inner circle, and that’s not a bad thing. Some people thrive on chaos, drama, and surface-level interaction. Others feed off ego, competition, or conflict. And then there are those rare individuals who move differently. They’re grounded. They’re kind. They don’t need to be the loudest voice in the room because they know the value of quiet strength.

These are the people I can be extroverted around. With them, there’s no need for pretense or defensiveness. I don’t have to filter my words or second-guess my intentions. Conversations feel natural, and time spent together is restorative rather than draining.

For so long, I thought my preference for being alone meant I didn’t like people. But that wasn’t the truth. I just don’t like the wrong kind of energy. I don’t want to be around negativity or unnecessary chaos. I don’t want to engage in small talk or navigate petty conflicts. I want real connections with people who are comfortable in their own skin, people who are at peace with themselves because they, too, value peace.

I’ve come to see that introversion and extroversion aren’t about how much time you spend alone versus with others. It’s about what energizes or drains you. The question isn’t, “Am I an introvert or an extrovert?” but rather, “What kind of energy do I seek?” Once I reframed it this way, everything started making sense.

Being at peace isn’t about isolating yourself from the world. It’s about choosing the kind of world you want to live in. For me, that means surrounding myself with people who reflect the values I hold dear, kindness, honesty, empathy, and calm. When I do, I realize that I thrive in connection. I want to share ideas, tell stories, collaborate, and create. I’m not shy or reserved; I just needed the right environment to let my guard down.

This awareness has also taught me how to set boundaries. I no longer feel obligated to say yes to every social invitation or tolerate energy that disrupts my peace. I’ve learned that saying no is an act of self-care, and choosing who to spend time with is a form of self-respect.

There’s a freedom in knowing that you can create the life you want by choosing the people you want to share it with. Solitude still has its place in my life, it gives me time to recharge, reflect, and stay grounded. But connection is equally important when it’s with those who feel like home.

So, to anyone who’s ever felt torn between solitude and connection, I’d say this: you don’t have to pick one or the other. You just have to find your balance. Seek out the people who bring you peace and make room for them in your life. Let them remind you that being at ease in the presence of others is one of the most beautiful forms of connection.

The world doesn’t have to be a noisy, chaotic place. It can be as quiet and harmonious as the company you keep. When you find those who align with your energy, you’ll discover that it’s not solitude you’ve been craving, it’s the right kind of connection.