GOALS
Cultivate a Way of Life, Not a Goal: A Journey to Meaningful Living
If you find yourself struggling to discover meaning and purpose, you’re not alone. A profound lesson echoed across diverse philosophical traditions—from Buddhism to existentialism—offers clarity: to live meaningfully, don’t chase fixed, pre-given goals. Instead, cultivate a way of life.
But what does that really mean?
How do we determine what way of life to cultivate?
And why prioritize a lifestyle over the pursuit of goals?
Goals Are Fleeting; A Way of Life Endures
All advice, no matter how well-intentioned, reflects the perspective of the person giving it. Life is not static. We are the sum of our evolving reactions to experience. As our experiences multiply, we change. With every shift in perspective, what we once saw as meaningful or valuable may no longer resonate. This endless flux makes rigid goal-setting problematic: How can we commit to goals that might lose their appeal with time?
The danger of rigid goals lies not only in their impermanence but in the risk of self-limitation. To live authentically, we must avoid reducing ourselves to roles such as “doctor” or “banker” and focus on being fully ourselves. This doesn’t mean we can’t become doctors, artists, or teachers—but these roles should serve who we are, not the other way around.
Goals are static. We are not.
Instead of allowing goals to define our lives, we should let our natural abilities, interests, and passions guide us. A meaningful life emerges not from achieving external objectives but from aligning who we are with what we do every day.
Choose a Path that Resonates with You
Humans possess an innate desire to matter, to feel useful and engaged. However, meaning isn’t found in achieving distant, lofty goals. It lies in the process of engaging in activities we enjoy and value. A meaningful path is one that allows us to function at our best, maximizing our abilities while avoiding frustration or burnout.
This shift in focus—from goals to process—prevents the inevitable disappointment of achieving something only to realize it no longer matters. If we tie our self-worth to external outcomes, we risk “nailing ourselves down,” trapping our potential within the narrow confines of a single achievement. The way forward is to find work and activities that align with who we are today, and allow us to grow freely.
What Do You Enjoy Doing?
Rather than asking, What should I achieve? ask yourself, How do I want to live? The answer lies in your natural tendencies:
Creating things
Helping others
Reading, writing, or learning
Spending time outdoors or with animals
Gardening, singing, or dancing
Designing, building, or repairing
Interacting with others or simplifying complexity
The activities that bring you joy are signposts pointing toward a fulfilling way of life. Goals can serve as a framework, but the key is to focus on the processes—the daily actions and challenges you enjoy. If your ambitions take you away from these activities, it’s worth asking: What is this achievement really giving me?
A promotion might sound like a step forward, but if it pulls you away from work you love or adds stress to your life, is it worth it? To cultivate a meaningful life, you must align your choices with how you want to spend your time, not with external markers like money, status, or power.
Don’t Let Circumstance Choose for You
One of the most meaningful acts of life is the exercise of free will—choosing how to live according to your values. If we procrastinate on these decisions, life will make them for us. If you feel trapped or disenchanted, you have two options: accept things as they are or seek something new.
The challenge lies not in setting grand goals but in discovering a lifestyle that feels true to who you are. This may require experimentation and change. You might not have all the answers now—but even the decision to explore is a step toward freedom.
The Philosophical Foundation
This perspective finds resonance in many philosophical traditions. Nietzsche teaches us that self-discovery is a process of becoming, not achieving a fixed identity. The Buddhist doctrine of no-self warns us against clinging to rigid roles and identities. Kierkegaard reminds us that while life can only be understood in hindsight, it must be lived forward. The Stoic dichotomy of control teaches us to focus on what we can influence—our choices and attitudes—rather than external outcomes.
Philosophers like Sartre and Heidegger stress the importance of authenticity, urging us not to live in "bad faith" by conforming to societal expectations at the expense of our true desires. Iris Murdoch’s concept of "unselfing" suggests that real meaning arises when we engage fully with the world, beyond ego. Kieran Setiya proposes that instead of focusing on outcomes, we should focus on the joy of the process itself.
The First Step: Cultivate a Way of Life
You don’t have to know everything right away. What matters is the willingness to explore and refuse to settle for a life dictated by circumstance. Meaning arises not from chasing distant goals but from engaging with life here and now, in ways that align with your true self.
Start with small decisions that reflect the life you want to cultivate. Choose to prioritize the activities, relationships, and challenges you value. As you refine your path, the goals will follow naturally—not as burdens to chase but as byproducts of a fulfilling way of life.
If you’re searching for meaning, stop looking for goals. Look instead for a way of life. A life worth living isn’t defined by external achievements but by the quality of the processes that make up our days.
After all, the only real achievement is to become fully yourself.